May 24, 2025: Disneyland
After an overnight trip to the Gates of Hell, we were back in Ashgabat for the third and final time on this trip. Again, we had a free day, so Maisie and I went to World of Turkmenbashi Tales, a Turkmenbashi-themed theme park. The locals call it “Disneyland”. After paying the 2 manat (12 cents) entry fee, we were in!
The theme park was in poor condition. Many rides were in disuse and many of the plants were overgrown. Still, it was technically operational and the theming was impressive!
Inside a replica ancient Mary (one of Turkmenistan’s UNESCO World Heritage Sites), there were two rides. One was a walk-through with multiple rooms of animatronics for 5 manat.
The other ride was a dark ride. The lady had to unlock a fake castle gate and turn on the ride for us. We must have been the only people to ride this in a week. The whole experience of riding this felt like the plot of a horror movie but we survived.
Other notable rides were a go-kart track around an enormous iguana and a different go-kar ride that let you drive around the park freely. In terms of theming, it is on-par with an average Western theme park but the rides are of poorer quality and the whole place was in a dubious state of repair and maintenance.
From Turkmenistan Disneyland, we walked past empty parks, empty streets and various government buildings until we reached the art museum.
(There is a theme) we were the only visitors at the art museum. We were followed by various staff members the entire time. The ground floor contained mostly Soviet-era artwork of Turkmenistan.
Prominently featured is a photo of the President looking at the Mona Lisa.
The upper floor had some European art and post-independence Turkmen art. I thought the art was fine, but Maisie was not a fan of anything in the museum. Tough critic!
We continued walking and eventually reach a golden statue of horses.
Nearby is a rare statue of Lenin. This one writes his name in Arabic script- apparently the only one in the world. I assume that the Turkmen language was written in Arabic script prior to the 19th century Russian conquest.
Near the Lenin statue is a lush Russian Empire-era park full of life-size dinosaur statues, carnival rides, and (the most surprising of all) actual people hanging out! The park used to be called First (Pervyy in Russian) Park but was renamed Ashgabat Park by the government.
We walked back to the hotel through the Soviet areas of town, which included a quick view of the US embassy. This area has lots of life. It’s just the modern areas which don’t.
We had dinner at a different beer garden than the first night before going to sleep for our final day in Turkmenistan.
May 25, 2025: Carpet/Ashgabat Day
Today was sadly our final day in Turkmenistan. It was also a national holiday. Well, it is actually two national holidays: Carpet Day and Ashgabat Day.
Turkmenistan has the strangest holidays including Melon Day, Good Neighborliness Day, Day of the Workers of Oil, Gas, Power, and Geological Industry, Turkmen Racing Horse Festival.
The funny thing about holidays in Turkmenistan is that nobody knows how to celebrate them.
For most holidays, average people stay home while the government has events/photo-ops for high-ranking officials. The plans are typically kept under wraps for security reasons, so average people are only made aware of the events just hours or minutes before they occur.
As such, our guide has no plans for the day, but intended to use his contacts to figure out how we would be able to celebrate Carpet Day and Ashgabat Day.
As we departed our hotel, a huge stage was being set up in the park across from our hotel’s entrance. Was this for the holiday? Who knew!
On the bus, we learned that there is something going on at the Expo Center. Once there, we learned it was a convention and exposition for Ashgabat Day. Construction companies, food vendors, landscaping companies, motion simulator companies an even a traffic light company were all looking for big business deals to make Ashgabat the city of the future. Nearly every booth had a photo of the president.
This may come as a surprise, but many large multinationals were present such as Coca-Cola and John Deere. Even though Turkmenistan is isolated, there is no embargo with the United States.
Vendors told me that they expected 400 people to visit the convention over the two days. This is INSANE given the elaborateness and size of the expo – this is nicer than the 20,000-person ophthalmology convention I went to for work earlier in the month. The vendors know it’s not about the quantity but rather the quality of the visitors. The government is the only real customer here, so the government might only be represented by a single person or single group of people.
One booth of note was the government’s own booth displaying a future housing development with two high schools and four elementary schools right next to each other. I am fully convinced that the government officials grew up playing SimCity every day.
One amazing aspect of this expo was that every booth gave out free gifts. From food to goodie bags, I left with so much stuff!
Next, we heard there was a celebration for Carpet Day at the Turkmen Carpet Museum. Once there, we headed to the back parking lot where there were tons of carpets on display. Vendors were selling goods (but not carpets because those are protected). There were also yurts with women teaching traditional crafts.
Since this was the final day of the trip, our group bought a ton of items.
We were also allowed entry into the carpet museum for free. The highlight is the world’s largest carpet, which is ever so slightly larger than the one in the National Museum.
Back at the hotel, the stage has been built and there was a full-blown concert! Young men and women in traditional dress were seated in front of the stage while young men on the sides were waving Turkmen flags. Live singing performances took place on the stage – lip-syncing is banned in Turkmenistan. For some of the songs, there were traditional dancers.
We then headed to dinner at the Yyldyz Hotel, the fanciest hotel in the country. After passing by the elevator reserved for the President, we headed to the 22nd floor for incredible views of the city. As expected, we were the only people dining.
Our fancy meal that would have cost $80/person in the US. Instead, our entire dinner for the 20 people including cocktails totaled $360 or $18/person. We even had live entertainment. When the male singer sang Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To Say I Love You”, we all sang along. A wonderful moment.
Finally, we got to do a night drive to see all the monuments of Ashgabat lit up in neon. It’s all so strange and beautiful!
Back at the hotel, Maisie and I napped for two hours before heading to the airport for our long journey home.
Final Thoughts:
I am obsessed with Turkmenistan. They had a vision and went for it. It is so unlike anywhere else I have ever been. The whole week felt like a science fiction simulation.
Turkmenistan is the safest country I have ever visited. There is no crime and there are no scams…because if you are accused of anything you will probably be sent to the gulag. Turkmenistan is also a very cheap country to visit – even on a guided tour. Meals are around $3 USD, gas is 7 cents/liter, taxis are $1.
The lack of internet was fine for me. Honestly it was refreshing to not be doomscrolling all day. Luckily, I was able to stay in touch with people via iMessage and Gmail which did work.
If you are interested in visiting Turkmenistan, Saiga Tours was spectacular. They apparently have the highest visa acceptance rate of any company. Our guide Ben and the local guides were fun, honest and insightful. I liked that the itinerary had ample free time to explore Ashgabat on my own but also visited all the sights. I also enjoyed the other guests on the trip. Turkmenistan is so unique, it is nice to have other people to confirm that what you saw is in fact real.
Obviously, there are many restrictions visiting Turkmenistan. But if you go in with an open mind and no expectations, you will have fun.
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